For Him
by ChappiRuki
Summary: Rukia does her best to gain bankai with everything she's got, accepting and understanding the risks she takes on; because she never has and never will break her promise.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Rukia's Determination

"Hah...hah..." Rukia breathed heavily, as if she was taking her first breath after a lengthy time; her mouth creating inferior smoke in the still air. She kneeled down in the white snow, struggling to simply be on her knees in through her bleeding cuts. Her sword shattered to tiny white crystals for the innumerable time, echoing throughout the training grounds.

"Lady Rukia, if we continue you'll die without gaining bankai." Sode no Shirayuki calmly asserted, a perfectionist who stood with her head held high in the air. Only her piercing crystal eyes and stiff lips struck Rukia with an emotion she recognized as withheld concern.

"Gomen...demo.." Rukia's hands curled into fists on the snow, she faltered but continued to struggle to stand, lifting her determined eyes to meet her life-long friend's own, "I want to do this now."

A tense silence filled the entire room—both waiting for the other's resolve to falter, to give up. After a forever-lasting minute, Sode no Shirayuki closed her eyes and sighed.

"As you wish, Lady Rukia," she complied reluctantly.

Sode no Shirayuki scructinized her, a predator staring at her prey to make a move so it could lash out in return. Seemingly oblivious to such, Rukia shut her eyes tightly and focused her spiritual energy, using everything she had to reach out to one out of the millions of katanas lying carelessly around the pure white snow, as if corpses had been tossed aside into some haven.

Her eyes snapped open in realization and swiftly pulled out a katana out from the snow; and shunpoed in front of Sode no Shirayuki, blade held in her right hand. Her adversary retaliated, arcing her sword down, expecting to meet a blade in return.

Instantaneously, Rukia threw her sword aside, her left hand clutching her opponent's blade. Sode no Shirayuki's eyes twitched with her mouth parted in shock as Rukia's bloodied hand dripped down her tattered white glove.

Rukia's right hand rose,

"Hado #33, Sokatsui!"

The blast filled the room with dust and smoke. The second she blasted it, she dove straight for her true target that seemed to shine next to the shattered katana she'd thrown aside; and drew it out smoothly. Gripping it, a rush of familiarity and love for her zanpaktou ran through her. Memories rushed through her mind in a torrent with everything they'd gone through together.

She obliviously smiled with loving violet eyes at the katana that fitted perfectly in her torn white-gloved hand. Snapping back to reality, she swung her sword sharply in an arc to clear the dust storm.

The room cleared instantly—spotting her calm, patient opponent to her far left.

"HaaaAAH!" Rukia lunged towards her, sparks flying from the impact she'd made upon a tough being.

She swung harder and faster, ignoring her aching body that desperately begged, pleaded for rest. Sode no Shirayuki effortlessly blocked every blow Rukia made at her.

The goddess then blew out shards of ice from her mouth towards the victim, who winced and flew back with an arm shielding her face from harm.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Sode no Shirayuki shunpoed behind her just a second before Rukia could drop her arm. Barely within time, the shinigami moved her right arm swiftly to lash out at her adversary's weapon—both craving to dominate the other. Spiritual pressure whirled around them, causing the snow to fly out from the ground in opposite directions.

With resolute eyes, Rukia gathered her strength and pushed down her zanpaktou forcibly until the ice cracked beneath her feet. Sode no Shirayuki glanced down, alarmed with her wielder's strength.

Taking advantage, Rukia shunpoed behind her to cut her with firm, numerous moves.

Sode no Shirayuki's face did not betray any sign of emotion and leapt away gracefully, blowing out once again tiny but multiple deadly ice shards from her mouth.

As the deadly ice shards came nearer, she stood there defiantly with fire ignited in her eyes and called out,

"Hado #33, Sokatsui!"

The blast turned the shards into dust, creating an advantage for Sode no Shirayuki to shunpo behind her and bring her sword across. Instinctively, Rukia whirled around rapidly, two hurricanes clashing to bring the other down.

As the hand on her zanpaktou held her ground, Rukia raised the other hand and shouted,

"Bakudo #61, Rikujokoro!"

Sode no Shirayuki's eyes widened in surprise as she flew back and was binded roughly against the wall, a dove trapped within a cage. She quickly recovered and broke out of it just as Rukia shunpoed forward and pierced her blade into the heart—at last reaching the core of her zanpaktou.

**TBC**

Japanese translations

"Gomen"—sorry

"demo"—but

"katana"—Japanese sword

After a long procrastination, I finally had the urge to write out something and this is what I came up with due to the fact that everyone seems to love to skip to where Rukia has her bankai already and never focuses on how she's going to gain bankai all that much. I accept reviews, flames, and criticism. ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Or so she thought.

It shattered into a million pieces of tiny shards of ice that leisurely floated down at Rukia. She swung her head around with a bewildered look. The true Sode no Shirayuki lingered in the air in all its beauty and pride, looking down with disdain.

She deliberately, intimidatingly lowered herself and sauntered with fluid grace like a goddess with her head bowed.

"If you cannot recognize your opponent, no less your own zanpaktou.." she began icily, her blade raised high above her penetrating gaze, "then I will not hand over bankai."

With that said, she swung her arm down, creating wind havoc. Rukia brought her arms up to shelter her eyes from the flurry of snow that sprayed out.

Sode no Shirayuki flashed in front of her, a purely white hand on her own zanpaktou, swinging it right across her head. Rukia reacted on instinct and flash-stepped up into the air, only to be followed closely that swung her blade down, barely giving her time to block it.

Rukia cringed as pressure strikingly increased against her already worn-out body. Her arms shook as they held her up against her zanpaktou. Before her arms gave in, she gathered what was left of her to swing her foe away and somersaulted a distance away.

She panted heavily and dropped to the floor in exhaustion. Rukia managed to lift her head up to keep a watchful eye on her zanpaktou who stood there with quiet grandeur.

"I will say this again," Sode no Shirayuki piercingly stared, pointing her sword at Rukia, "give up."

Rukia stared back with equal intensity,

"Never."

Silence filled the entire room. Both were rigid with tension—one warily watching to see if she'd make a move, the other anticipating to see if she'd take back her response.

"Then so be it," Sode no Shirayuki said with finality ringing in her voice, "Tsugi no Mai: Hakuren."

Rukia stared wide-eyed at the oncoming flood of ice, summoning her stubborn, sore body to move.

"Move, dammit! _Move!_" Rukia thought desperately, her eyes wincing as she lifted her body with her arms in agony as the ice came nearer, _"I can't die here!_"

At the last minute, she shunpoed out of harm's way and collapsed against an evergreen tree, wheezing and perspiring, her left hand profusely bleeding through her messily wrapped cloth.

The fabric slipped a little from the injured hand.

"…I have…to keep fighting…" Rukia thought, gripping her zanpakou tightly, her eyes fighting to be kept open, the cloth loosening but hanging on, "I will not lose conscious. Not now."

Her sensitive ears heard the clash of sword, through tree, through flesh—_my_ flesh she corrected dizzily, unable to utter a single word. Rukia's hand loosened her hold on her zanpaktou, her eyes' color fading rapidly as they flickered open forcefully and closed repeatedly, her hazy vision spotting something strangely dark fluttering down to meet white.

She did not see the bloodied cloth land next to her own blood, tainting the pure snow.

**TBC**

Sorry for the month-late update ^^ I'm just very busy with school at the moment (as all authors say repetitively, lol). See y'all on the next chappy~!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

First off,

**bows down to all readers**

Gomenasai, for making you guys wait for so. goddamn. _long_. (I know how frustrating it is to wait and yet I still do it *pounds head repeatedly*, it's made me realize I'm such a damn sadist).

Thanks to

Renchikara for favoriting this story (seriously, I really didn't think this story would be favorited at all, so arigatou-gozaimasu for favoriting it, makes me really happy)

Ahelya PvC et XY (your username is so cool and weird all at once; I hope it isn't insulting and sorry if it is) for following this

Kaihaku No Iroke for following

Renchikara for following

Tensai-Teki Kuroneko for following

michi nolet for following

Reply to Reviews

Suzuka: Thank you for being my first reviewer and for making me feel very, very happy inside. Ah, I'm glad I was able to make readers feel Rukia's pain ('cause it was what I was aiming for).

Tensai-Teki Kuroneko: Thanks for reviewing; and YAY, someone is curious about it :D And, YES, RUKIA LOVERS UNITE! XD

/

/

_ICHIGO'S POV_

**Three Days Ago**

"GOOD MORNING, ICHIGOOOOO~!" Isshin trumpeted as he sent a flying kick to Ichigo whose reflexes were fast enough to dodge his attack, or fatherly love as Isshin called it.

Isshin half-yelled, half-congratulated Ichigo for being man enough to dodge his so-called "ninja kick" as Ichigo frowned, staring down at Isshin who was hanging onto his windowsill.

His eyes blinked in shock as he felt her familiar reiatsu (after all, he could feel it from miles and miles away without trying since Grimmjow, but now, now, it was everything he could feel, everything he needed, wanted, since their long, _long_ department and reunion).

He fell back into reality from Isshin's screams and did his "normal" daily routine, despite the pounding whacking his brain into distortion to rush to her, to feel her, to at least catch a glimpse of her. If he could wait for one year and five months (though it had felt like an endless process of longing desperation and hell when he wasn't hiding behind his built-up mask), he was sure he could wait.

He could wait.

(_Forever and ever and ever_…)

He was getting better at it.

Though his heart would not leave him alone with the goddamned, familiar pang, the longing to just run and run and run to her…and it was bothering him a little.

Just a little.

/

/

He absentmindedly twirled his pencil as he looked out the window, his head in the direction of Rukia's reiatsu. His eyes furled when he felt it continuously flare for a period of time, then dim down a little 'til it seemed it was almost gone, then flared all over again; and the process kept going and going and going…

"Kurosaki-kun!"

Ichigo whirled in surprise to see Inoue's face wrapped into complete, honest concern. Bewilderedly, he stared at her and the rest of the noticeably empty class.

"…It's time for lunch, Kurosaki-kun."

"Uh..yeah, yeah," he replied, nodding his head off into space. He tugged the corners of his mouth and managed to produce a smile as to not to worry his nakama.

He quietly left the classroom, his back facing her still-concerned face and an outstretched, hesitant arm.

/

/

Out of sight, his feet pounded against the concrete towards the strangely dimming reiatsu that made him worry constantly to the point he just could _not, _not when he could do something,

not when it was her.

He instinctively slammed the door open and ran in without thinking. His arms flailed out as something gripped his shoulder and pulled him backwards into the floor. A hand popped something circular, unbearably sweet into his mouth and the world turned dark.

/

/

Ichigo stared down at himself, invisible and see-through; and jolted when a reiatsu hit him, swung his head, and saw _her_ come in.

Urahara's eyebrow went up and his strange happy-go-lucky behavior followed,

"Well Kuchiki-san, what a nice surprise—"

Her fierce, resolved eyes and aura silenced him abruptly.

"Urahara-san," Rukia started, never once leaving his gaze, "train me to reach bankai."

"Eh?" Urahara asked, "you don't need my help on-"

"Let me rephrase," Rukia interrupted, "Train me to gain bankai the way Ichigo did."

Urahara blinked in surprise and his eyes turned solemn, prolonging the dreadful silence that seemed to contaminate the room that only spoke of hell.

Ichigo blanked out at the last words she had spoken. He silently repeated the words to himself.

"Why did she say that?" He wondered.

His thoughts were interrupted as Urahara sighed,

"Kuchiki-san, you _do_ know you could die from this."

"I can't back off now and be full of regrets," Rukia stated firmly.

"Well-"

"_Please_," Rukia's voice sounded strangled, her eyes flashed with some heavy emotion that quickly went as it came.

Urahara scratched his hat, turned his back on her, and muttered incoherent words to himself that went along with: "People these days..." He then got up and faced her seriously,

She stared back right at him with the same level of intensity.

"Do you truly have the determination to do this?"

"Of course," Rukia replied without a hint of hesitation.

"Enough..." he shut his fan that echoed in the room, eyeing her, "that you'd willingly die?"

"I promised I'd come back alive," Rukia stated crisply, glaring intensely as if she wanted to burn his eyes, "so dying is not an option."

"Well then, Kuchiki-san," he turned after an intense moment and opened the hole leading to the training area, "Let us commence training."

"Hai."

Ichigo watched her jump in and he guessed, probably landing gracefully as the Kuchiki she always was, is, and will be.

/

/

Urahara watched the boy spring up from the bed and stare at him.

"That wasn't a dream," Urahara said after a moment, his face turned to the side, "That's what happened."

"…." Ichigo sat there for a moment dumbly and got up.

"Kurosaki-san—"

Ichigo slid open the door, effectively shutting Urahara up with his resolve.

"I'm not stopping her."

Urahara stared at Ichigo's back with an eyebrow raised at the lack of hesitation in his reply.

"Why?" he asked after curiosity overpowered his composure.

"Rukia's really stubborn when she wants to do something—so stubborn that she won't die so easily while doing it," Ichigo half-smirked in thought, "and she definitely won't be stopped by anyone for anyone.

"So that's why..." he stared back at Urahara with a rare smile, "I'll support her when she needs it," he finished.

"Well said, Kurosaki-san," Urahara tipped his hat in recognition with a smile, tossing him a piece of candy, "You may watch."

"…Don't need it," Ichigo said nonchantly, tossing it back to him, "I don't need to watch her to know she's working hard."

With the words said, he closed the door, and stood, staring in front of his shop for a while. Then he turned away with a smile etched onto his face.

_I believe in you, Rukia.__  
_

_/_

_/_

Urahara sat dumbfoundedly stock-still at the table until Ururu came in and asked if he needed anything. He shook his head and chuckled,

"He just keeps on exceeding my expectations," A thought of some one with the same spirit and energy came into mind and chuckled some more, "Like father and son, isn't that right, Isshin-san~?"

The hidden figure came out of the shadows and smirked,

"As if that son of mine can ever match me," then he pouted, "when am I going to see him and Rukia's babies? _When?!_" he bawled in a corner and banged his fist repeatedly against the floor, "I need grandchildren now you _stupid_ son!"

The front door slammed open harshly, and a hand shot out to toss Isshin out of the shop, who yelped and landed roughly onto the ground.

"Tou-san," Ichigo inhaled heavily and loomed over him threateningly, "First off, you're so loud that the neighbors could hear you _miles_ away,"

He stared down at his father's face closely, "Second, Rukia is fighting down there so don't you _dare_ distract her with your meaningless shit!"

His hand clutched the front of his father's shikahusho, "Third, you are _not _getting any babies. BAKA!"

And with that, he threw his own father effortlessly rocketing into the air as Isshin screamed for many to hear (and for millions of birds to screech and fly towards the opposite direction of the destructive noise).

Ichigo sighed and scratched his head, while muttering, "Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ old man…" as he treaded back.

He never did wipe off nor notice his very red face until Karin smirked and commented that he lived true to his name as a strawberry after all (in which resulted in him sputtering denial, shutting up abruptly, stomping up to his room, and slamming the door childishly—all done with a face as red as Renji's hair).

/

/

It was the third day.

Beneath Ichigo's calm mask was this anxiety that never seemed to stop at all, even though he did truly believe in her wholeheartedly; his intuition kept bothering him, hell, it pounded his head that something, something, _something_ was going to happen.

….But _what_?

And that's what bothered him throughout the entire morning and afternoon, oblivious to the worried faces his nakama would make at him occasionally, becoming the laughingstock of his class when the teacher demanded his attention, in which led him on the school's roof alone.

He leaned against the railing with his crossed arms and looked towards the spot where she was—is, absentmindedly twirling the maple leaf he'd caught in his hand. He literally crushed his feet to the ground 'til he was sure they were glued, that they wouldn't rush after her unheedingly; and catch at least a glimpse of her once, to at least know that she was still fine, unlike the time when Grimmjow had—

The leaf crumbled under the clenched hand to stop the oncoming tornado of thoughts that swirled in his head. He had to prioritize her feelings over his own, especially in this situation, in which he'd sworn that that would never happen again, her pride—hell, her _heart_—as a warrior, shinigami, lieutenant—a Kuchiki—was on the line in _her_ battle.

Not his.

Ichigo stared at the sky and held up the partly destructed leaf, his hand seemingly about to loosen his grip, loosen all of—

His hand stopped, his eyes widened, his hand gripped the stem tightly, and before he was conscious, before he knew it, he jumped off the roof, instantaneously flying out of his body and shunpoed towards where she was,

All the while not noticing that the maple leaf was obliterated from his infuriated spiritual pressure and the force of his speed as he friskly shunpoed away.

/

/

He ranted, cursed, _swore_, while flying across the sky so goddamned _slow_ as the clock in his head ticked faster than he wanted it to, agitating him as it grew even quicker by the ever dangerously dimming spiritual pressure.

He didn't give a shit if she was going to kick him in the shin and rant about it all later (because at least she'd be _alive_), he didn't care if Urahara was going to try to stop him when he'd only bulldozer him, he didn't—

_He just didn't care. _

Not when her spiritual pressure was fluctuating, dimming to the point he couldn't stand it anymore, not when she was in danger of dying, not when she'd be gone forever from him, _not when he could help it_.

He slammed the door open with his shoes and all, pried the underground passage open, and jumped-shunpoed along to where Rukia's hair was in the irritating, blurring snow.

He abruptly stopped before his brain could register her form against the tree trunk, the blood cascading down her white, gloved hand to the snow in droplets, the zanpaktou clearly pierced through her chest against the black uniform, the worn-out shinigami with her eyes slowly dimming its violet color.

Before any scream of her name could scramble out of his mouth, before he could run to her and hold her close, before he could save her and be _useful_ for once, the eyes shut its glory and love; and the flashing, blinding light obscured them all and his opened mouth into nothingness.

/

/

**TBC**

**A/N**:

Randomness:

OMG, OMG, OH MY GAWD, I'm finally out of the grave (where all hell related to school is) XD I can finally get back onto this! And, yeah, this was a pain to drag out of my ass since I kept re-editing, re-editing, re-editing 'til I was freakin' satisfied. And I _think_ I'm finally satisfied (do you see how freakin _picky_ I am. gah.) Again, I apologize for making all of you wait for so long.


	4. Chapter 4

Violet eyes blinked in the cascading downfall of snow as she lay on the freezing snow.

"It's cold…" Rukia thought quietly, unable to move or shiver.

The gloved hand absentmindedly reached up towards the sky; a snow drop landed on the tip of her index finger that only melted and stung her hand from the cold temporarily, until it evaporated to join with the biting air.

"So this is how I'll disappear…" she thought aimlessly, "buried under the snow with no one to find me…"

The realization only weighed down her chest even more as her breaths became harsher and shorter; she fought back unwanted tears that threatened to escape from her eyelids.

"I can't believe I'm still thinking," Rukia chuckled humorlessly, "that I want to win..."

_(when I'm dead) _

The shaky beam that she'd stood on cracked with the next step; and she fell to the side with a hand reaching up desperately to reach that beam of light she'd once stood on; it faded from her sight completely as she kept falling, falling, and falling into darkness; her hand limped to her side as she kept falling.

Rukia had returned once again to her inner world of hopelessness.

Except this time, it was a never-ending darkness that never had a single opening, a single sign of escape, a single sign of _hope_;

She was dying in it.

/

/

The moment he woke up, his feet mindlessly ran frantically, hurriedly towards the fluctuating reiatsu.

Faster, faster, _faster_! He despairingly thought; his mind's one-track mind repeating it in a state of mantra.

His mind flashed back towards the significantly clear view of Rukia hurt, injured, unconscious, dying, amongst the damn blade against the tree. His eyebrows furrowed with worry and desperation as she was so _close_ yet her reiatsu kept decreasing with every step he took.

In the far distance, his sharp eyes turned hopeful as he caught something black amidst of all the whiteness.

"Rukia!"

The lack of response fuelled his legs to _goddamn_ hurry as the sight of Rukia came nearer; he couldn't let her slip past his fingers.

Never.

Relieved, he finally, finally, _finally_ caught up to her and bent his knees beside her, panting heavily.

"Damn…it…Ru—," Ichigo stopped abruptly, his hand stooped down to gently brush away the bit of snow that covered part of her face—

His hand flinched and stopped instantly.

Her eyes…were _blank_.

He dropped to his knees with his hand still in midair; his hair hiding his face (that was so full of uncontained _feeling_).

Just like in his mother's final moments, they were emotionless, unfeeling, _blank_.

His hands dropped and limped at his side as cruel reality hit him once again.

She was gone

Dead.

/

/

A/N:

Sorry for not updating faster and that this is so short (-_-)! I couldn't finish the second part to this so I decided to make that the next chapter; now the following shall be thanked here~

Thanks for favoriting XD

punkagumon

Renchikara

Thanks for following X)

AgentBlast101

Ahelya PvC et XY

CumulativeExperience

Kaihaku No Iroke

michi nolet

punkagumon

Renchikara

Tensai-Teki Kuroneko

The Blood Moon Rises

And I also thank you all for reading this story! :D

(I apologize if I missed anyone...TT)

Reply to Review

Jordan Kurosaki:

*thumbs up* got it


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